==>

so
hows life

let us use this time
to further examine our hero

it appears ACTION HOBO has five pockets
on his jacket shirt whatever it is

i wonder what is in them

meanwhile keep suggesting ways that ACTION HOBO can escape from this situation

take your time
no rush

author: invoke deus ex machina
action hobo: excavate pockets

jump off and die on the pavement

ACTION HOBO of course chooses the wisest course of action

i guess its up to me to save the day

again

sigh

ACTION HOBO tells me to shut up

what should he do

==>

get down to business

to get down to business
first one must get down from the building

an invitingly plain door stands waiting

on the other hand
an invitingly empty edge of the building
stands waiting
for one superhero
perhaps capable of flight
to jump off
that would be a flying start
to the saga of action hobo

what will he do

jump off and die on the pavement

take control of the situation

seymour abbott has had enough of your disingenuous assertions
he decides that you cant tell him what to do anymore
what are you
his mum

he tells you that his name is ACTION HOBO
although i know thats not his real name
he tells me to shut up

ACTION HOBO has places to be
people to save

ACTION HOBO  is renowned for stealing from the rich to give to the poor
but he is technically classified as poor
since he is a hobo
so he takes from the rich and gives to himself

ACTION HOBO tells me to shut up again

look what you did

get down to business

highly acclaimed by critics around the world action hobo is considered a modern masterpiece winning all the oscars and all the golden globes and all the emmys and all the arias and all the high school excellence awards

seriously now
tony has no time for games

he launches your ridiculous suggestion off the rooftop

it suffered a minor case of severe brain damage
the suggestion has contacted top lawyers
and is filing charges for assault occasioning grievous bodily harm
it is being comforted by its loving family as we speak

shame on you
shame

take control of the situation

it is a thrilling tale of love and loss gain and sacrifice getting and losing having and not having doing and not doing good or bad yes and no dog or cat

seymour is appalled at your juvenile sense of humour
like seriously how old are you

that joke was so lame like your mum
oh wait your mum only needs a wheelchair
because shes so fat

burn
burnnnnnnnnnnn

really now whats his real name

seriously enter name

the saga of action hobo begins as he traverses the danger hood of criminals and badness in search of his lost change cup

a strange man sits atop a skyscraper
in a mysteriously symmetrical city

little do you know
this man is a renowned crime fighter
responsible for lowering the crime rate
by 5000%
in the past year

what is his name

here is the part
where you type the answer
in the box
on the right
under the bio box

okay its not under the bio box anymore
i changed the layout
so its the first thing on the sidebar

enter name yo click this link to go to the next page

i feel for the people who face challenges every day no place to sleep no place to eat they are the true warriors not dumb soldiers

so like
i was looking at the news
like i always read the news
you should read the news
it keeps you updated
and educated
like
anyone who doesnt read the news
is dumb
because theyre missing out on all these vital facts
and stories
that could possibly change their lives

like the one im gonna share with you
right now
this was so inspirational
i cried so much

begin action hobo

if something is free does that mean you can get infinity of them because they cost zero and you can buy as many as you want without running out of money

so like
today
i went to this place
met all these
hard working people
doing their best
to save lives

and
they dont even get money
for it
so they need people to join
and help out
so they give out stuff
for free
i mean thats kind of dumb
you pay money
to make things to sell
for no money
flawed logic much
but thats beside the point

they do all these things
and you know what some people do
they take their hard work
the figurative receptacle
that they pour their hearts and souls into
every day
and they just
throw it on the ground

or worse
in the bin
these people
are so ungrateful
like
wow
learn to think
learn to empathise
dont be such a knob
you go there
just to take their free stuff
and then chuck it in the bin
wow

anyway
ive been eating a lot of junk food recently
like mcdonalds
dude have you seen those cups they give you
like
wow
theyre so ugly
and they suck so much
i got one and used it like
once
and then i got rid of it
it was that bad
jesus
what
was it made in china or something

also i recently discovered
how useful photoshop is
like
if you have a crappy picture
maybe some spots are bumpy or discoloured
maybe your skin just looks weird
you can just go into photoshop
and bam
problem solved
now you have a perfect picture
show all your friends

allow me to show you
exhibit a before photoshop

and now exhibit b
after photoshop





















see i just
transformed a crappy drawing
into a slightly less crappy one
by pressing a few buttons
like
what the heck
is this magic
photoshop is a gift from the gods

hey if you look at it from far away
it actually looks like a hand
cool

hey google can you fix your stuff please i dont want to go through so much hassle to do one little thing just make it easy

so like
i have been
literally
butt deep
in things to do
so i am sorry
for not having posts
i am just posting now
to let you guys know
i dont really have time for a mega long post

but like
as i was signing in
to post this
turns out
i was signed into youtube
on a different account
so then it signs me in to this blog
with my youtube account
like
wow
give me a choice
to sign in with an account im not already signed in as
jesus
stop being so oppressive
google

so i have to
sign out
and then sign in again

and then
when i try to watch youtube
it keeps me signed in
as this blog
so if i wanna watch youtube
i have to sign out
and sign in again
wow
google fix your stuff
like
seriously
youre such a big company
if one guy like me complains
you should be able to fix it
jesus

how does destinys child even go to sleep at night i mean his mum does such crappy things and i dont think she should get away with it

so like
sorry for not posting
after my last post
i was just
overcome with emotions
so many emotions

i had to spend a few days recovering
and
all was fine
until today
when mother destiny
came up to my doorstep
and knocked
and said
hey
your life is going well
im here to muck it up
and then i got a right hook to the jaw
by fates final force fist thrust full fire

like
i always thought that this
chancey
fatey
stuff
was fake
like
wow
do you think
you can tell the future
from looking at pictures on cards
this aint yugioh mate
or crystal balls
like
theyre not even crystal
theyre just glass balls
what so
if i get a sphere
made of glass
and look into it
im actually looking in the future
wow
get real scientists
dont expect me to believe stuff like that
but i guess
if it wasnt fake
i wouldnt recognise fate
even if it came up to me and hit me in the face

like
why do things happen
in certain ways

let me rephrase
why do things happen
unfairly
why
if destiny
is a mother
i mean
destinys child
hello
his mother is obviously destiny
if destiny is a mother
arent mothers meant to be
nice
like
why does it do this then
why do unfair things happen
its like
wow
destiny being a nookmuncher for no reason
probably abuses her child
gotta call docs
what if destiny has more children
that she has been hiding
like
wait a second
bungies upcoming game
is called destiny

oh my god
bungie you
are god damn devil incarnate
you just made halo
to pretend to be angels
because angels have halos
but in reality
you actually made
destiny
so you are
destinys father
and destinys childs grandfather
i hate you bungie
hate you
so much

damn it bungie
i trusted you
you were like
a cord
around my waist
as i leapt off the precipice
of indecision

and when i needed you most
you snapped

you let my hopes and dreams
roll down behind the locked doors
down into the dark crevasse
where light has never shone
where life has never been

ive already had my dreams crushed once before
but i dealt with it
and moved on
but this
this time bungie
youve gone too far

today is the day
i choose
to take control of my fate
no destiny
or destinys child
or destinys father
or destinys childs grandfather
is gonna tell me what to do
theyre not my mum
do you hear me

destiny
youre not
my mum
I AM NOT
DESTINYS CHILD

i will snatch my dreams
from the jaws of nightmares

they wont be the same
oh no
not after being so close
to that linear void
you might say
if light cannot escape it
what hope have i
well
its an enigma
no one knows if its a malefice
or if my hopes
have been corrupted
into malign eidolons
shadows of their former selves
all i know is
that dark place
that
midnight zone
pulsing with hatred
its not a black hole
but something more

i will steel myself
i will
embark on the greatest journey of my life
that umbral crack in space
will be repaired

god damn it whyd my ball have to go in that crack

why do people have to be mad i mean its not good for anyone you get high blood pressure and you get attacked in the heart and die

so like
i always get mad
well
used to always get mad
at the smallest things
like
when the footpath
just suddenly ends
and the road begins
like
that used to get me so mad
but now
ive met this
wonderful person

they are like
my other half
they complete me
i can be calm
when i should be mad
just by thinking of them

like
how do i live
without them
how do i even breathe
without them

if i had to live without them
what kind of life would that be
theyre my world
my heart
my soul

so i guess
this blog post
is dedicated to that person

without you
thered be no sun in my skies
thered be no love in my life
thered be no world left for me
and
i dont know what id do
id be lost if i lost you

to my dear
sweet
precious
nicolas cage